The Nigeria Presidential or Naval Yacht as a Metaphor for a Nation out of Sync with its Soul:

Presidential or Naval Yacht as a Metaphor For A Nation out of Sync With Its Soul

By: Vincent Chukwubuike Mba Esq.

First I must congratulate you on the official commissioning of the this priceless yacht – whether presidential or Naval, I think it’s the greatest thing to have happened to Nigeria since her chequered history to a possible nationhood, then, I must apologize to you on behalf of my ignoramus fellow citizens who are perennially wailing instead of rolling out the drums in celebration of the most visionary government in the annals of this country, may your reign, o, incomparable potentate be long and prosperous, even if that prosperity stops at the corridors of the cavernous rocky covens of Aso Rock Mansions and its satellites in the various subnational capitals, and does not trickle down to the foolish ordinary Nigerians who do not appreciate the immense good this yacht – immense status symbol booster has had on the hitherto battered image of Nigeria in the community of nations – at least today, Nigeria can talk where other nations are talking, their leadership have presidential yachts, now, so do we – why are we so blest, and the ordinary citizens do not appreciate it?

Mr president, I apologize once again on behalf of my beloved but foolish compatriots, who out of pure ignorance and stupidity are asking how much good the cost of this jewel of a presidential yacht – it doesn’t really matter whether it’s presidential or Naval Yacht, either way, only those, like yours sincerely who are well grounded in agbadonomics can fully appreciate the incomparable and immeasurable profits of this five billion naira vessel, the rest of our foolish and stupid compatriots especially the Obidient movement are asking how much good that miserable miserly sum would have done in terms of physical infrastructure and or social services, how more moronic could a people be?

For how on earth could any reasonable mind equate the immense good to the nation a presidential yacht could do to our nation of a presidential residential retreat is held therein in the placid seas conducive for deep and profound thinking about the direction of the compass to navigate the ship of state on?

Or, perhaps when and where the excellent yacht is not deployed to presidential services, it could as well serve as a mighty deterrent to the useless and hungry petty oil thieves on the creeks of the Niger Delta when deployed as a naval vessel!

Please Mr president, find a place in your large heart to forgive a people as foolish as no other, for they don’t understand that the idiots stealing our crude oil in the Niger Delta, would no longer do so upon the sight of our immaculately dressed Navy patrolling the creeks on expensive multi billion naira yacht, not on gunboats, this is el dorado, Mr president, I completely agree.

It beats my imagination how foolish a people could be, so much as to stupidly compare the undeniable image booster this Naval/Presidential Yacht would inevitably have in the whole circumstances, with mere opportunity cost of what the same sum could have done in terms of infrastructure and social services, or to ignorantly compare the so-called opportunity cost with the death blow the presidential/naval yacht would deal to the petty thieves stealing our oil in the creeks of the Niger Delta, who would simply flee from the scene of crimes, abandoning their plunder upon the sight of this celestial beauty of a yacht!

Please Mr president, forgive my ignoramus compatriots who have no ideas what strategic thinking means, in the unfolding agbadoistan, I think we should need more sophisticated and expensive yachts, so that you and your incomparable knights in shining armour both in the legislative branch, who are starving that citizens may eat, and are dying daily that citizens may live, and the judicial branch populated, no, dominated by the very epitome of the incandescent and inviolable lady justice, could drift away from this maddening crowd of ignoramus compatriots who do appreciate the immense sacrifices you people are making to ensure citizens do not starve to death, at least I know how often you people go to bed hungry so that citizens may have something to eat in the morning!

Can we ever thank the good Lord enough for the privilege of having your visionary altruistic self navigate the ship of state at this historical moment, she foolish folks, if they were president, would have been building hospitals, schools, roads and human capital, when all we need are more exotic crafts?!

With the commissioning of this all purpose craft, which I understand could move on land, navigate on water, and take flight to the edge of space, and could serve as both as reconnaissance, surveillance and tactical equipments, it’s good bye to insecurity, local folks in the satanic Internally Displaced Persons camps would now go back to their ancestral lands and cultivate their lands and feed their animals in peace, Mr president, please we need more of these yachts, don’t mind my foolish and stupid compatriots.

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